It can be hard to figure out how to say goodbye to your exchange student. Like Boyz II Men said, it’s so hard to say goodbye. After a whole school year with your exchange student, imagining life without them is hard. You’ve built a bond and connected with them, they’ve taken part in family events, and you’ve supported them through the ups and downs of life on the program.
While we can’t take away the pain (but we wish we could!), we can give you some tips and tricks to make the goodbye process smoother for everyone involved.
Be Ready for the Five Stages of Grief
You may notice your family or your exchange student behaving a little differently than you’re used to. Your student may refuse to pack or try to extend their time on the program, your child may argue with your student more, you may feel like being alone more often, or your child may cry for seemingly no reason.
The five stages of grief aren’t just for a loved one who’s passed away. They can take hold of you when losing anything, including your exchange student. At the end of the exchange year, denial, anger, bargaining, sadness, and acceptance are normal emotions. Understand that these feelings can happen to anyone in your family, not just the student. Be ready to face these emotions and help each other in these moments.
Visit Some of Your Favorite Places Together
By the end of their program, you likely know what restaurants and attractions your family enjoys going to with your exchange student. It can be a lovely celebration and a walk down memory lane to revisit those places together, ending the program positively. If you don’t know their favorite spots, ask them! If going places isn’t in the cards, you can make your student’s favorite home-cooked meal together and enjoy it as a family.
Exchange Contact Information and Make Plans to Keep in Touch
With the help of the internet and technology, staying connected is easier than ever! Ensure that your family and your exchange student share contact information, such as phone numbers, email addresses, social media profiles, or even physical addresses, so you can stay in touch and check on each other. You could even plan to visit your exchange student in their home country!
Do a Farewell Gesture
This could be something as simple as a family dinner or as extravagant as a going-away party with their friends from school and other loved ones. It could also include mementos, such as a scrapbook or a framed photo, to help them remember their exchange year and the time they shared with your family.
Help Your Student With Preparing to Go Home
Imagine trying to pack a year of your life into two suitcases. That’s the reality of exchange students getting ready to go back home. It can be overwhelming, and they’re going to need some help. Help your student go through their belongings and decide whether to bring things home or donate them. Help them mail things home they want to keep but cannot fit in their bags. (Host families are not responsible for paying to ship items home.) Ensure they have emergency travel phone numbers if they encounter issues while traveling home. Take family pictures for your student to take back with them.
Students will likely receive a Goodbye Plan and Goodbye Plan Checklist from YFU. These documents can help students prepare for their departure and familiarize them with what to expect.
Look to Other Host Families For Support
For families who have never hosted, they may not fully understand everything you’re feeling and going through. Their support is excellent, but sometimes it can be more meaningful from someone who gets it. Connect with other host families to lean on one another during this difficult time. Ask them for their favorite tips to get through the goodbye process. You can connect to YFU host families nationwide in our Host Family Facebook Group. (When the tears dry, it may be a good time to talk to friends and family who’ve never hosted about giving it a try!)
It’s never easy to say goodbye to an exchange student, but with the right support and a game plan, it can be easier!